lollylovesick (lollylovesick) wrote,

I have a few days off from work. Alone in Stockholm with nothing to do. Well. This tiny town is, after all, the biggest city in Sweden so if there's anything, anywhere in this country, to do then it should be here. But I'm almost broke. And if I go out I'll be obsessed with things to do or buy that I can't afford. Like going to a museum. Or buying that knitted sweater that I found at Monki the other day. But. I'm poor.

(The things is, I'm not, not really, because I've been saving up. But I need that money for the move to Norway, which makes it even harder. I have the money but I can't used it. Hell.)

Instead I'm lying on the couch in my Mum's one-room flat in central Stockholm, eating soured milk (blackcurrant flavour<3<3) and listening to Skrillex. (So sad that the dubstep-hype got overboard in a few months and now noone likes it anymore. I do.)

The TVs on in the background. So far I've half-watched Top Model, Project Runway and right now an American family are running into their newly built house on the screen. I'm only half-registering the screaming and sobbing and "OMG my room is so beautiful. Oh gosh it's so beautiful!" Yeah. Typical day off for me.

The thing is, I want to write.



Nothing. Ever. Gets. Finished.

This summer I've started several oneshots that I've written about 1k of, then lost interest. It's all just vignettes, there's no plot. It's all characterisation and weird phrasing and nothing happens. So I'm slowly starting to accept the fact that I'm probably not cut out to write. I don't have the ideas. All I can do is the embellishments. It's all flavour and to subsstance.

A list of all the unfinished oneshots I have:

* Remus with the werewolves (where he went in HBP) meeting a Legilimens and thinking about his relationships or non-relationships with Sirius (who is now dead, obviously) and Tonks.

* Lily/James. From Lily's perspective. It was supposed to show how she decides to take the world on, with James at her side. Contains a section where she's screaming her head off at James and Sirius for being irresponsible bastards and how the shoudl grow the fuck up, which was fun to write.

* Remus/Sirius.Possibly a prequel to the one mentioned above.

* Sirius, first person. Could be merged with the R/S. It's basically him being bad and a lot of fancy phrasing. No plot at all. But this is all I know how to do.

* Voldy. First person. Mythology and religion and science. Yeah.

* Narcissa. A lot of ice and snow similes. Ends with Draco's birth and how she feels warmth for the first time. (Yeah, that's sappy.)

I don't know. None of these will ever be finished, probably.

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